Titles were supposed to be made up by today?

Photo

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 00:05:58 -0600

ravencrantz: me: hey tumblr why won’t you show me my notifications tumblr: bold of you to assume...

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 00:05:48 -0600

me: hey tumblr why won’t you show me my notifications

tumblr: bold of you to assume people are interacting with your posts

cryingpossiblydying: angelica,

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 00:05:18 -0600

cryingpossiblydying:

angelica,

do yourself a favor and read “Oh God, Not Again!” by Sarah1281

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 00:03:47 -0600

susiephone:

it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters

basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact

(the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)

harry decides upon 3 goals:

fuck up as much shit as possible

make a shitload of money

save some lives or whatever

it is

H I L A R I O U S

his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?

he has a psychic scar

(hermione is SO PISSED about this)

(neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)

everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this

harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year

“snape is my sole ally”

he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great

even draco is a friend!

(kind of)

(when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)

harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”

either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”

because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn

(so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)

it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it

and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”

in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic

harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard

harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.

cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.

the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring

he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort
everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”

(though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.
snape is so angry
it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off

here’s the link

thank me later

humorholics:Whoever thinks money doesn’t bring happiness, transfer it to my account

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 00:01:54 -0600

humorholics:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t bring happiness, transfer it to my account

Photo

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 00:01:38 -0600

throwbackblr:If Mister Rogers don’t trust you…

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:57:38 -0600

throwbackblr:

If Mister Rogers don’t trust you…

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:56:55 -0600

living-the-upgrade: BMCNYC 2018 Cast first play rehearsal!

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:56:00 -0600

living-the-upgrade:

BMCNYC 2018 Cast first play rehearsal!

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:55:51 -0600

30-minute-memes: I agree It is physically irresponsible…

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:54:24 -0600

30-minute-memes:

I agree It is physically irresponsible…

orarewedancing: “Florida is the Costco of upsetting people”...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:53:01 -0600

orarewedancing:

“Florida is the Costco of upsetting people” || John Mulaney on Late Night with Seth Meyers [x]

Bonus:

steverogersbisexual: Peter Parker: this is so sad friday play despacito

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:49:13 -0600

steverogersbisexual:

Peter Parker: this is so sad friday play despacito

accio-shitpost:dumbledore: i’m gonna curse the entire ocean

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:48:49 -0600

accio-shitpost:

dumbledore: i’m gonna curse the entire ocean

toughlovemuse: newwavenova: non-practicingbisexual: fuckyeahbodypositivity: kingforaking: I’m...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:48:08 -0600

toughlovemuse:

newwavenova:

non-practicingbisexual:

fuckyeahbodypositivity:

kingforaking:

I’m doing a social experiment called ‘agreeing with boys when they compliment you’.

the results:

perf example of how uncomfortable boys are with women owning their own awesomeness. for many men, beauty, coolness, desirability are gifts they alone can bestow upon women. they get baffled, even aggressive when you show you’ve known you possess those things all along.

i love this experiment!

I reblog stuff like this every time I see it, because I figure women who follow me need the reminder, and men who follow me also need the reminder.

If you pay someone a compliment and they accept it and that makes you angry? You weren’t really interested in paying them a compliment.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: the-kings-hoid: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses: my shitposts are the...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:47:05 -0600

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

the-kings-hoid:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

my shitposts are the result of a patented process and if you try to copy them you’re copyright infringing

May I see the copyright

here you go:
©

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:45:12 -0600

honeybottledrip:this is the funniest fucking thing i have ever...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:44:46 -0600

honeybottledrip:

this is the funniest fucking thing i have ever seen in my life

small-summer-child: 1980vibes: PLOT TWIST: you are your crush’s crush. Unrealistic. Blocked.

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:44:27 -0600

small-summer-child:

1980vibes:

PLOT TWIST: you are your crush’s crush.

Unrealistic. Blocked.

mitochondiva: stuckykittyspidey: thebeverlymarsh: it’S nOt OkaY to seXuaLiZe cHiLd actOrS aND...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 13:11:39 -0600

mitochondiva:

stuckykittyspidey:

thebeverlymarsh:

it’S nOt OkaY to seXuaLiZe cHiLd actOrS aND chaRAcTEEEEERRRRRSSS

IT’S OKAY TO ‘SEXUALIZE’ FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

NoT iF TheYRe KiDs YoU FuCKinG CrEEpS